LIfe of Dad Pregnancy Guide - Stay Cool

Here is an awesomely funny video I was fortunate to be a part of....It was really fun to shoot and these Life of Dad guys are amazing!



For more funniness, visit www.lifeofdad.com

MM

I have THREE awesome art shows coming up!!!

Its becoming a busy time of year for me and my art, and believe me, I'm not complaining! I feel so blessed and lucky, its been an amazing ride :)

First, I was one of the 150 artists officially selected to showcase work in "Peace Rises" the 2011 Peace Project exhibit. This amazing exhibit showcases peace-themed art and photography from all over the world and travels to galleries in California, New York and Africa. Proceeds from the sales go towards the rehabilitation of people (mostly children) that have been ravaged by the strife in Sierra Leone. The Gala Opening of "Peace Rises" in Los Angeles has already passed, but it will go to Orange County on November 4th, 6-9:30pm, at Expo Arts Center, 4321 Atlantic Avenue, Long Beach, CA. For more information, visit The Whole 9. Admission is free.

The piece I have as a part of this exhibit is my photo, Treasure of Wishes.

Second, I am excited to be showing two paintings in "Sound Affects Art" 2-night event. This event will host the works of over 40 artists, 7 bands, live painters, video visual artists, and more. Art patrons in attendance will be given mp3 players and quality headphones, enabling them to take the "Sound Affects Art Journey". This journey takes you through the gallery and through your mind as you view art from over 40 artists who have completed work to music of their choice. Listen to the music the artists listened to and connect with their inspiration. The show is on November 4th and 5th, 6pm-2am, Think Tank Gallery, 939 Maple Ave. #200 Los Angeles, CA. For more information visit Sound Affects Art. Cost is $10 at the door.

The pieces I have as a part of this exhibit are my paintings, Of Chimneys and Crows and Symphonie de la Lune

Last, but certainly not least, I have been nominated for Artist of the Year representing Hollywood in the 2011 RAWards! I beat out a multitude of talented artists in the first round of online voting to become one of only 5 semi-finalists in the Art category. We will all be showcasing and competing together along with the semi-finalists in the other categories (photography, performing art, music, etc..) and a LIVE VOTE at the end of the night will determine who makes it to the Finals! I need all the support and votes I can get, so please come out and see this amazing, eclectic show! The show is on November 17th, 6:30pm-Midnight, The Playhouse, 6506 Hollywood Blvd. Hollywood, CA. For more information and to buy tickets early at a discount, visit RAWArtists Hollywood Showcase. Tickets are $10 in advance, $15 the week of and $20 at the door. 21+ only, cocktail attire.

I'm not sure exactly which pieces I will be showing at this event, yet, but I am leaning towards my paintings Woman Emerging, Sweets to the Sweet and Bonjour Petit Ami, for starters.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read all this, and I HOPE to see you at a show!!!

MM

You do not know HELL until you have attended a Middle School Talent Show

Sure, some of the kids are talented enough, but you can be certain that their mics won't be set at the appropriate volume. Volume. Now there's a word. There's a word that means nothing to girls aged 11-14. Their tones know no boundaries and my eardrums are writhing. There is no A/C in the auditorium. At least, not one that is turned on. I'm sorry to say but the majority of the contestants would leave American Idol in tears after Simon berated them for even thinking they could sing...but with kids, you know, you've gotta be supportive. Even if that means telling bald face lies. This show should just be renamed "The Singing, Dancing or Playing an Instrument Show", because that's all there is. Not one acrobat, magician or stand up comedian in the whole bunch. I went to be supportive of my own kiddo, and of course I am proud. That is what you do when you're a parent, you go and sit through this crap for the 3 minutes of glory that is your own offspring. Then, you do the "Ducking out at Intermission" move if you were lucky enough to have your kid perform in the first act...as was the case with me. Thank the Lord.

I will admit that I did take about a million pictures of the event. Here is my shot of the day, I think its a stunner.

MM

Ready to Sing - © 2011 Melissa May Curtis

10 Things I have learned with this Pregnancy

The moment I found out I was pregnant, I started doing my research. We hadn’t been trying to get pregnant, so I hadn’t done any of those typical female things like start watching “A Baby Story” or begin scouring every parenting website available. Once I got that extra line, however, everything changed. Within less than a week I had pretty much made up my mind about what kind of birth I wanted. By that time I had researched, read, compared, discussed, chatted and googled every possible question, concern and detail that I could come up with. And to be honest, I have never stopped. A great portion of my day is still spent reading about being pregnant, and thinking about my own pregnancy. After these past four months, I have learned some things and a few of them stand out.

1. Everyone having a baby should find the time to watch the movies “The Business of Being Born” and “Babies”.

The Business of Being Born

Babies

2. Lucky for us, there are many different birthing options available nowadays! These include:
• Home Birth in the privacy of your own home with a Midwife/Doula. This is for low risk pregnancies only (but VBAC is possible!), where the Mom and Baby are healthy and strong. No pain medication will be administered (natural childbirth) and Mom will have to use a relaxation technique such as Hypnobirthing to work through the surges of labor and delivery. Statistically this is the most popular choice in most of the Nations of the World and is gaining popularity in America.
• Birthing Center Birth at the Birthing Center of your choosing with a Midwife/Doula. This is mainly for low risk pregnancies (but VBAC is possible!), but it is in a more hospital like environment . This is also a natural childbirth. Statistically this option is gaining popularity in America.
• Hospital Birth at the hospital of your choosing with a Midwife and/or an OB/Gyn. This is for both low and high risk pregnancies. Mom can choose whether to go natural or to have an epidural. Statistically this is the most popular choice in America.
• Induction/C-Section Birth at the hospital of your choosing with an OB/Gyn. This is typically to be considered when there is a medical necessity. Statistically it is recommended that the C-Section rate of any industrialized nation be less than 15%. It is currently over 30% in America. This is argueably believed to be because of the medicalization of the birth process and the need to make it profitable, controllable and easy for Medical Professionals, Hospitals and Insurance Companies.
• Unassisted birth at your home with no help other than your spouse/partner. This is for low risk pregnancies only where Mom has given birth before and it is recommended that she be medically trained. Statistically this is very rare in most industrialized nations and could potentially pose the most risks out of all the options listed. Not recommended.

3. Only you can decide what you are comfortable with, so do your research, get educated and then do what you think is best for you and your baby. Don’t let anyone else tell you what to do in this detail. Write out your birth plan and stick to it.

4. Its your birth, you will remember it forever, but your OB or Midwife, the Nurses, etc…won’t. People will tell you that the only thing that matters is having a healthy baby at the end. This is not necessarily true – the healthy Baby (and Mom) is the MOST important thing, but it is not the only thing that matters. Its our body and our birth, we should be informed about what is happening to us and we should be able to make the final decisions. We should feel connected to ourselves and our bodies and our babies throughout the entire process and it should be joyous, not scary. The pain doesn’t have to be scary, it can be an exhilarating part of the process if we just relax and trust ourselves.

5. Don’t agree to unnecessary interventions. Birth is a natural process that knows how much time it needs. Birthing a baby is one of the essential reasons you are a woman. Your body and your baby know when its time to go into labor, trust them. Trust yourself. This is an amazing miracle of an experience, don’t fear it, embrace it.

6. Your body and your baby know what to do, relax.

7. Be honest about what you want and how you feel, about everything.

8. Practice and don’t give up. Whether its self-hypnosis for Hypnobirthing or breastfeeding once the baby arrives, relax and keep trying.

9. Your Spouse/Partner has thoughts, fears and opinions that are sometimes overlooked. Its their baby, too, make sure they are heard. Talk often and be honest.

10. Relax. This is the most important thing I think I have learned. Just to relax and know that its all going to be ok in the end and you should enjoy every bit of this amazing process.

I am looking forward to giving birth a second time. I am counting down the days with anticipation, hopefulness and a little fear, to be honest. I guess that’s normal.

MM

I’m not part of the 1%, but I’m not so sure about the 99%

I only know my own experiences and opinions. There are people occupying Wall Street and I don’t entirely understand why. Protesting Capitalism in the USA? Protesting the greed of Bankers, Congress and the whole financial system? Wall Street is greedy? Is this new news? What does that say about me? Where does my little Los Angeles family fit into the equation? We have a bit of debt, I won’t lie, and we aren’t homeowners. We live in a Townhouse that we rent. I am a painter and I work part time at an art gallery so our daughter doesn’t have to go to daycare. We have a baby on the way. My husband is self-employed and travels for work almost all of the time, but he makes a good living. We pay for private medical insurance but opted out of dental because it was too pricey. We have a wonderful life, I admit. I love it. That being said, I still want to be rich, sorry, but I do.

I want a house on the beach with whitewater views that has plenty of room for me, my husband, my kids, my pets, some guests, and ALL our hobbies and passions. I want a home in Utah to stay at when I go visit. I want to spend winters in Salt Lake City, every year. I want spring in St. George. I want the school year in LA. I want to travel the world and see new places and meet new people. I want to learn and learn and learn, just take classes all the time, but not for a degree and a career, just because I want the damn information. I want to play with my kids all the time in our yard. I want to paint all day, and be in theatre shows, and audition and take my kids to their classes and school functions and volunteer for the PTA. I want to write with my husband, all day sometimes, and have tons of great sex with him whenever I want. In order to obtain all of these things, I would have to be rich. Sigh. So, there is my confession. I want to be rich because the life I covet requires such. Yet I do not trust the system I have to rely upon in order to obtain wealth. I am taught that to covet material things is bad, it means you are a shallow person, it is wrong. Quite the conundrum.

Perhaps it is my ignorance, but I don’t know what it even means to BE the damn 99%. All I know is everyone took part in getting us to this point. Well, just about everyone. I don’t know that much about a lot of the facets of this situation, but I know that the people are angry, the people are fired up and the people are demanding change. I think THAT, in and of itself, is pretty cool. I love a good revolution, but I don’t know what to think about this one.

I worked in the Mortgage industry as first a Loan Processor, then a Loan Officer, then a self-employed Processor/Loan Officer for a total of 10 years. There wasn't a loan that I personally sold to a client that I don't stand behind. I explained everything to my clients, in layman’s terms, and they all asked about a million questions. They all signed several pages of loan documents and were given full copies to take home. They knew what they were getting into, and it wasn't that hard to understand. The caveat here is that I worked in La Canada and 90% of my clients were very wealthy. Not a true portrayal of average Americans. Most of these clients made over $250,000 a year and were refinancing their mortgages to take cash out to do things like remodel their homes, buy second homes, pay off other debts, etc…. This is not true for all people, however, and I know that there was a lot of shady business going on by a lot of shady Mortgage professionals.

Over the years I personally witnessed changes in the guidelines for what was needed to qualify for a home loan. It used to be that the borrowers had to prove their income by providing original copies of taxes, bank statements, paychecks, etc… then you had to add up all of the person’s debts (including their housing expenses), and divide them by the total gross income for the month. If more than 30% of their income was being used, they did NOT qualify for the loan. End of discussion. The amount of money in their checking and savings accounts was tallied and you had to have a certain amount of savings in “reserve” (this was a safety feature to make sure people could continue to pay their mortgage and bills, even if they lost their job). They had to be at their current job for a minimum two years, no exceptions. They had to have a good credit score. They had to put at least 20% down when they bought the home. All of these guidelines changed with the increasing usage of the internet. Suddenly you could collect personal data in a matter of minutes; you didn’t have to wait for hard copies from borrowers. Everything was available at your fingertips. The whole system started to rely on credit scores over actual money, thinking that if someone had a good credit score then it was just logical that they had enough money to pay their bills. You didn’t even have to send a hard file to the Bank anymore to get a loan approval, you simply had to enter the parameters of the loan into an automated, online system, that would run it through a program and tell you the statistical odds of this person defaulting on the loan – if they weren’t likely to default, then they had a loan. No questions asked. No real documentation had been validated by a human being at this point, and the banks were issuing APPROVALS!

Banks let self-employed people “state” their income – meaning they could SAY they made however much they wanted, and didn’t have to provide one shred of evidence to prove it. Then they started letting employed people on salary or hourly pay also “state” their income. Buuuuut, if you are on salary or hourly, you get a paycheck, and your pay is what it is. There is no need for you to have to “state” anything! Lenders and Banks just kept getting more lenient with the conditions required to get the loan closed. It just got easier and faster to close a loan. Everything was happening in days instead of weeks. So much money was being lent. I once closed a purchase transaction for an older couple who’s credit scores were so high (we’re talking 820+) that even though they hadn’t sold their current home (and both the payments on their old house that was for sale but not sold and the new home they were buying totaled up to almost double their monthly income) but the loan still approved on the system and they were able to close.

One day in about 2005 we closed a new kind of loan, our first negatively amortizing loan on a person's home. When the parameters of the loan were explained to me, I said out loud “That seems like a really stupid idea!” The whole idea was to give someone a loan that started out on an ultra low interest rate, thus making the payment super low. At first. After a set period of time, usually five years, the loan’s interest rate would change, perhaps going up or maybe going down, depending on what the market had done in that five years. Then, one was to assume that the payment could potentially go up a bit. Then every year after that, the loan would adjust again, the payment going up or down again, and so on. I said to my boss “But what if the payment goes up to a figure that you can no longer afford?” He said to me “The idea behind this loan is that in 5 years, you will be making MORE money than you are right now, with raises and whatnot, so she should be fine. Plus, her home will appraise for more in five years.” This woman was a recently divorced teacher who was about 5 years from retirement. Yeah, I don’t think her salary ever went up. Anyways, if you made just the minimum payment, over the life of the loan, you would eventually owe MORE than you started out owing. You could avoid this by making principal reduction payments or refinancing into a different loan once the initial five years were up. All of these guidelines made many assumptions including that people’s jobs would be solid and the economy would continue to thrive, that the housing market would continue to go up and up and up with no end in sight and that people with good credit will always be able to pay their mortgages. All of these assumptions were wrong. By the time this was figured out, it was too late.

Loans were being funded left and right, banks, escrow companies, title companies, mortgage companies, appraisers, EVERYONE was making millions off of the closing fees and points. People were refinancing their mortgages and adding equity lines of credit to take cash-out more than ever before. Everyone had cash to remodel, start a business, buy a car, or upgrade to an even larger house. Homes in LA County that had been purchased for $195,000 three years ago were appraising at over $500,000 – with buyers lined up! People were selling their condos in Culver City and buying mansions in Colorado. It was so easy for anyone to get a loan; people went nuts with the refinances. I saw people do it three times in a year! Plus, rates were the lowest EVER, so that just fueled the fire. It was INSANE! Everyone was greedy, everyone, including the consumers. They knew, they KNEW what they were getting into, but that money was soooo easy to get and it was right there for the taking. Everyone is to blame for this part of the problem.

Of course there were the people that just wanted to buy their first home and got swindled by that greedy Mortgage Broker. Of course there are innocents. They are the minority, I believe. A lot of people got out of hand here, and now EVERYONE is paying for it.

I left the mortgage business years ago after my own personal business venture, a Contract Loan Processing business, failed. Once the market turned and people stopped paying their mortgages, the banks hitched their britches back up and started to revert to the old standards of qualification. Only by that time, everyone was already over extended. So now people were STUCK in their inflated mortgages on homes that were no longer worth what they thought a year ago – now people were underwater and the mortgage companies wouldn’t touch their loans with 10-foot poles. The same borrowers that got solicitation calls from 20 mortgage brokers the second their credit was pulled couldn’t refinance into a better interest rate to save themselves $200 a month on their payment. Loans started taking weeks, months even, to close. No one was making money anymore. Appraisers were out of business, Mortgage Brokers, Processors, Loan Reps, Loan Officers, Real Estate Agents, Underwriters, and Escrow Officers, the WHOLE lot, laid off, out of work, victims of the industry that had been a cornucopia of wealth only a few short years ago. I don’t miss it. Not one bit. I hated working in an office, dressed in business casual every day. I hated the stress and the whole system.

After all the loans I have closed and the transactions I have seen, the one loan that is the most important has somehow eluded me – my own. After all the paychecks and commissions and bonuses, I never bought a house. My husband and I are good at saving, but bad at spending. With no family member or friend that can gift us a down payment, our quest for home ownership in LA has continually eluded us. I had pre-approved us for a loan at the height of the market, but my husband had been cautious of the high monthly payment we would have been committing to, and thank God for that! Had we bought a home then, assuming I would always be making the good mortgage bucks, and signed on to that $3,000 per month payment, I do believe my life would be a whole lot different right now. It would have been killer to have a nice house of my own for those few years, though. Damn it.

So I guess my whole point is it’s not just the big guys that fucked us here. I think consumers are responsible, too, and the people that facilitated the process, like me. We all had our part to play. So then what? How do we fix this? How do we fix us?

MM

Baby Baby Baby

© 2011 Melissa May Curtis

So we had our Ultrasound and this is the little being that is in my womb :)

MM

OMG, we're having a BABY!

After many years of secondary infertility, one surgery, hormone therapy and lots of gettin' it on, we are pregnant with our second child! This is the video of us letting B know she is going to be a big sister, now that she's in Middle School, LOL.

MM

Sound Affects Art 2 night event!

© Melissa May Curtis 2011

I am very pleased to announce that I have been invited to show some of my art at this show: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=227436990644375

This show is taking place at The Think Tank Gallery in LA. Attendees at the show will be given a pair of headphones and an MP3 playerl. They will view the art WHILE listening to the music that helped inspire the artists to paint it. I ALWAYS paint to music, so this was super easy for me! I have never been a part of anything like this and think its gonna be COOL! Hope the people of LA are down to join me and check out this show!

The Think Tank Gallery
939 Maple Ave. #200
Los Angeles, CA
11/4/11 and 11/5/11
7:00 pm to 2:00am

We will be going on Friday the 4th ONLY as Saturday the 5th is B's birthday :)

I will be showing two large paintings at this show. each 4 feet by 5 feet. The first is Of Chimneys and Crows, accompanied by the song Alberto Balsalm by Aphex Twin. The second is Symphonie de la Lune, accompanied by the song Alice by The Cocteau Twins. WTF is up with BOTH of my accompanying songs being from bands with the word "Twin" in their name? What are the odds? Either way, this show is gonna be awesome! Hope you can make it out. I hope to get some new fans on my pages and SELL SOME ART!!!

MM


© Melissa May Curtis 2011

Vote for ME to become Artist of The Year in the 2011 RAWards!!!

Hey Everyone!

I am thrilled to announce that I have been nominated for the 2011 RAWards "Artist of the Year" Award representing Hollywood!!!

I would really appreciate it if you would vote for ME!

To vote, first go here:

www.rawartists.org/register-vote

Then after you have quickly registered (they make you register, sorry, its not me!) go here:

http://www.rawartists.org/view-artists/userprofile/amcurtis77

That is my RAW profile. Click the "VOTE FOR THIS ARTIST" Box at the top middle of the page, above my name and you have voted! You can vote one time per day only.

I loved showcasing my work with RAW and had a wonderful showing. Voting is open to the public until October 15th. After that the top scorers in each city are narrowed down and then judged in a juried competition. I would really like the chance to have a professional jury look over and critique my work, but I need enough votes to get there, so please help me! Every vote counts - and like I said, you can vote once a day in each category, so I encourage you to vote for me and look at other profiles as well and return to vote again for your favorites...me!...Seriously. Also, invite your friends to check out my work and vote, I really appreciate it! :)

THANKS A MILLION!

Sincerely,
MM

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Melissa-May-Curtis-Fine-Arts/180222519011

The Peace Project 2011 - Peace Rises

I am honored that one of my photographs was chosen to be a part of the The Peace Project 2011 - Peace Rises. The photo is called "Treasure of Wishes" and it is one that I took of my daughter and her best friend while hiking in the mountains of Southern Utah.

I hope you will join me as this exhibition tours California, New York and beyond..

This collective vision will be unveiled mid-October at The Whole 9 Gallery 9 in Los Angeles. The exhibit will subsequently make several other stops in Southern California before traveling to San Francisco, New York and London. An online exhibition will be held simultaneously. Confirmed appearances include:

* October 22 -- Gallery9, 6101 Washington Blvd., Culver City, CA
* November 4 -- EXPO Arts Center, 4321 Atlantic Avenue, Long Beach, CA
* November 9 -- Swarm Gallery, 560 Second Street, Oakland, CA
* November TBD -- Gallery TBD, New York, NY
* January 7 -- Showcase Gallery, Santa Ana, CA


The traveling exhibit will include three elements:

Peace Project Mosaic

4’ x 4’ mosaic featuring ALL pieces submitted to this year’s Call for Artists. This mosaic will be similar to the one shown below which was created in 2010 and will illustrate the beauty and power and peace as seen collectively by thousands of artists around the world. Another mosaic will be used as part of an interactive art piece that will be taken to Sierra Leone and added to on World Peace Day.

Peace Project Grid

A grid will be created using 150 pieces selected by our jurors from all of the submissions. Each piece will be reproduced on 1 foot x 1 foot panels (30.5cm x 30.5cm) and arranged in a grid to underscore the multicultural implications of global peace, as well as reinforce the notion that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. American Easel is proud to support The Peace Project by donating it's handcrafted Painting Panels for this exhibit.

EMPOWERED PARTICIPATION

Both The Peace Project and The Whole 9 are conceived upon the philosophy of inclusion -- encouraging people from all cultures, religions, and creative walks of life, to participate, connect, share resources, and help find solutions for a better world.

Thanks,
MM