10 Things I have learned with this Pregnancy

The moment I found out I was pregnant, I started doing my research. We hadn’t been trying to get pregnant, so I hadn’t done any of those typical female things like start watching “A Baby Story” or begin scouring every parenting website available. Once I got that extra line, however, everything changed. Within less than a week I had pretty much made up my mind about what kind of birth I wanted. By that time I had researched, read, compared, discussed, chatted and googled every possible question, concern and detail that I could come up with. And to be honest, I have never stopped. A great portion of my day is still spent reading about being pregnant, and thinking about my own pregnancy. After these past four months, I have learned some things and a few of them stand out.

1. Everyone having a baby should find the time to watch the movies “The Business of Being Born” and “Babies”.

The Business of Being Born

Babies

2. Lucky for us, there are many different birthing options available nowadays! These include:
• Home Birth in the privacy of your own home with a Midwife/Doula. This is for low risk pregnancies only (but VBAC is possible!), where the Mom and Baby are healthy and strong. No pain medication will be administered (natural childbirth) and Mom will have to use a relaxation technique such as Hypnobirthing to work through the surges of labor and delivery. Statistically this is the most popular choice in most of the Nations of the World and is gaining popularity in America.
• Birthing Center Birth at the Birthing Center of your choosing with a Midwife/Doula. This is mainly for low risk pregnancies (but VBAC is possible!), but it is in a more hospital like environment . This is also a natural childbirth. Statistically this option is gaining popularity in America.
• Hospital Birth at the hospital of your choosing with a Midwife and/or an OB/Gyn. This is for both low and high risk pregnancies. Mom can choose whether to go natural or to have an epidural. Statistically this is the most popular choice in America.
• Induction/C-Section Birth at the hospital of your choosing with an OB/Gyn. This is typically to be considered when there is a medical necessity. Statistically it is recommended that the C-Section rate of any industrialized nation be less than 15%. It is currently over 30% in America. This is argueably believed to be because of the medicalization of the birth process and the need to make it profitable, controllable and easy for Medical Professionals, Hospitals and Insurance Companies.
• Unassisted birth at your home with no help other than your spouse/partner. This is for low risk pregnancies only where Mom has given birth before and it is recommended that she be medically trained. Statistically this is very rare in most industrialized nations and could potentially pose the most risks out of all the options listed. Not recommended.

3. Only you can decide what you are comfortable with, so do your research, get educated and then do what you think is best for you and your baby. Don’t let anyone else tell you what to do in this detail. Write out your birth plan and stick to it.

4. Its your birth, you will remember it forever, but your OB or Midwife, the Nurses, etc…won’t. People will tell you that the only thing that matters is having a healthy baby at the end. This is not necessarily true – the healthy Baby (and Mom) is the MOST important thing, but it is not the only thing that matters. Its our body and our birth, we should be informed about what is happening to us and we should be able to make the final decisions. We should feel connected to ourselves and our bodies and our babies throughout the entire process and it should be joyous, not scary. The pain doesn’t have to be scary, it can be an exhilarating part of the process if we just relax and trust ourselves.

5. Don’t agree to unnecessary interventions. Birth is a natural process that knows how much time it needs. Birthing a baby is one of the essential reasons you are a woman. Your body and your baby know when its time to go into labor, trust them. Trust yourself. This is an amazing miracle of an experience, don’t fear it, embrace it.

6. Your body and your baby know what to do, relax.

7. Be honest about what you want and how you feel, about everything.

8. Practice and don’t give up. Whether its self-hypnosis for Hypnobirthing or breastfeeding once the baby arrives, relax and keep trying.

9. Your Spouse/Partner has thoughts, fears and opinions that are sometimes overlooked. Its their baby, too, make sure they are heard. Talk often and be honest.

10. Relax. This is the most important thing I think I have learned. Just to relax and know that its all going to be ok in the end and you should enjoy every bit of this amazing process.

I am looking forward to giving birth a second time. I am counting down the days with anticipation, hopefulness and a little fear, to be honest. I guess that’s normal.

MM